The Principal Pleasure is an adults-only subsidiary of Numanoids'R'Us, dedicated to selling top-quality sex aids to Numan fans all over the world. At the moment we have a limited, relatively tame, product range, but we will soon be expanding this to include some real filth.

Nu Condoms for safe sex
The Principal Pleasure is proud to announce the first range of condoms developed specifically for the Numanoid market. The initial reason for developing these condoms was to promote safe sex amongst Numanoids as, after all, Gary cannot afford to lose too many more fans. All these condoms are available in 7" and 12" formats and are flavoured with natural fruit juices, so although the word 'fellatio" may leave a nasty taste in the mouth the act itself needn't. So when The Iceman Comes make sure he's using one of these.

 

The Joy Circuit
This ribbed condom is a perennial favourite with space cadets everywhere. It has a young, cocksure image that has been known to melt the heart of many an impressionable young Numanoid. And remember, no-one will ever say 'please push no more' if you're wearing one of these. This is sometimes known as the Wembley '81, because after 3 great nights you can bugger off for a few years.

 

The Big Blue
This bright blue condom is bound to appeal to fans of Gary's Berserker image. OK, the blue dye runs a bit so it turns your pubes blue, but that's all right 'cos now they'll match the hair on your head. Recently launched with the famous slogan "Do you want to come with me?", this is a condom which really asks you to Pump It Up.

 

The Pleasure Skin
This smooth, sleek condom complements The Fury image perfectly. It's ideal for Numanoids who want that sophisticated touch, as well as those that are just plain sick of washing all that blue dye out of their pubes after using the Big Blue.

 

The Exile
This is the newest condom in our range, and we think it's the best we've ever created. It's ideal for strong, pounding, throbbing sex. However, due to production delays delivery will take 3 years.

 

Full Body Condom
The ultimate in safe sex protection. If you're going to have anything to do with groupies this is the one for you. It is also recommended for anyone planning to shag over 500 women.

 

Good Vibrations

If you don't get the opportunity to try out our range of condoms, perhaps one of our vibrators is what you need. All run on AA batteries, and are guaranteed to provide the Metal Rhythm that you require.

Steel and You
This is specifically aimed at machine music fans. It's cold, hard and smooth, and guaranteed to bring you to your knees.

The Warrior
It may or may not be true that black men are bigger, but when it comes to dildoes this black beauty is definately big enough to surprise any sister. It really works with the tough image, and it's guaranteed to drive anyone Mad to the Max. It is also strong enough to double as a rounders or baseball bat. Don't carry one when you go to a roadside stall to buy a hamburger or you are likely to get yourself arrested.

Erotic Literature

We will endeavour to bring you the best in erotic Numanoid literature. This is obviously a limited field, but we will do what we can.

The Numa Sutra
by Hugh G. Rection
This updated version of an ancient Indian work truly unlocks the secrets of NuSex. It features graphics photographs demonstrating many of the most acrobatic and aerobatic sex positions imaginable. This book comes accompanied with an 'R' rated video, which by law can only be watched by children if they have written parental permission and a letter from a qualified psychologist explaining that they're beyond hope.

 

Inflatibles

Do you like to get pumped up for sex? Or do you just prefer a partner who does? Or are you just one of those sad people who can't find a real person who'll have sex with you. We don't care - we just want your money.

"Gorgeous Gemma"
Do you wish you could shag the lovely Gemma every night? Well, that's tough isn't it, because she's married to Gary, so that's his job. However, if you are getting calluses on your palm, and the pages of your copy of the wedding issue of Hello magazine are permanently stuck together, then perhaps our "Gorgeous Gemma" doll is for you. She's realistic, made of the softest latex, and loves to shag to Numan music. She's one of the most durable dolls available, fully capable of withstanding a 4-hour shag session of epic proportions, and she comes with a puncture repair kit (just in case). Also available in a limited edition box set.

 

Inflatible sheep
Get your wellies on! Dolly the Inflatible sheep is here! The latest addition to our product range is a sure-fire winner - the best fun you can have outside of a farm holiday. As the picture shows, we already have thousands of satisfied customers. Order yours today!