Gary Numan is truly a man of many talents. He drives cars. He sails boats. He designs mouse mats. He makes bread. He makes candles. He raises money for the donkey sanctuary. He even finds time to record a song every year or two. Yet despite all these activities he still has time for his favourite hobby - breaking world records.
As a child, Gary was a big fan of Roy Castle and his Record Breakers TV show. His favourite book was the Guinness Book of World Records, and his biggest ambition in life was to get his name into the book. As you can see, he has succeeded in a big way.....

Most blatant over-use of Viagra.
OK, so we all know Numan is getting on a bit, and naturally with a wife 10 years younger he's going to need a bit of help from time to time. But Numan's addiction to Viagra has become a bit alarming.....

 

 

Most Copious Sneeze.
Gary suffers from almost terminal hayfever, which leaves him with a constantly runny nose and a bin full of snotty tissues. Sometimes it gets so bad that a tissue just isn't enough. This particular sneeze, fortunately captured on film by Gary's wife Gemma, produced a particularly enormous amount of snot. In total there were about 3 litres of the stuff, weighing 4.273 kilos. I feel sorry for the poor sod who had to gather it all up and weigh it..

 

 

Flatulence.
Gary holds many World Records for flatulence, for example the most farts in a single day, the worst stench of all time, and the most embarassing fart on national television. His proudest achievement to date, however, was this 200 decibel effort which broke the record for the loudest noise since the Big Bang.

 

 

Biggest Penis Enlargement.
Gary's penis enlargement was much more successful than any of his hair transplants. He now calls it "Big Gary", and is happy to show it off, as this picture shows.

 

 

Sunburn.
Whilst on holiday in Mexico recently, Gary Numan did what English tourists always do when they go on holiday to a hot country - he got severely sunburned. People from all over the world usually have a good laugh about this, though this is perhaps unfair as English people tend to be unfamiliar with that with the sun; when on holiday they usually have to ask the locals what the yellow thing in the sky is. Upon returning from Mexico, Gary's sunburn was quickly measured by a representative from the Guiness Book of Records, and he is now the official World Sunburn Champion. The photo below will be appearing in the next edition of the Book.

The previous holder of the record was Rob Eggleston, also from England (what a surprise!), who by a curious coincidence runs a website for Numan fans, ex-fans and No Life Bitchers. When visiting Australia a couple of years ago, Rob got so sunburned that he glowed in the dark and could be seen by astronauts orbiting in the space shuttle. Numan's sunburn was much worse - he could interfere with satellite communications and mobile phone calls just by looking upwards, and the Greens are considering using the heat from his face as an alternative power source. Even now, Numan's face is such a bright red that he has auditioned for the part of Darth Maul's brother in Star Wars Episode 3.